Brazen Junk Food:

So last night I went on a late night snack run to the Superstore and in the process of comparison shopping, I discovered both a bargain and a challange. I didn't know that chips could have bad attitudes, but these apparent Dorito knock-offs did! Heck, they were 99 cents, of course I'm gunna stick it to the man and buy the cheaper chips.

Rather than appealing to my desire for flavorful chips, these antidisestablishmenterianistic chips challanged me to think twice before fueling the corperate machine. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Rebellos - the latino gangster of the cheesy tortilla family.

I kid you not, this is the message on the back of the bag... I want you to imagine Pedro's cousins from Napoleon Dynamite getting in your face to say this:

"We could go on and on and on about how crunchy, chessy, and tasty the tortilla chips are, but we won't. Hey, you're a rebel. Go for it... we dare you!"

I think their marketing manager forgot some key element: Where I bought these chips. Sussex is far away from any hispanic community or anything near gang related. There is no punk rock scene here - kids are into metal bands like Iron Maiden and Megadeath. Geographically speaking, let me show you what I think a powerpoint slide from that marketing meeting looked like:



It makes me wonder about what will be next... With the way that extreme marketing is going, I give you the future of junk food!

Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you Guerilla Chips - "You'd better be eating more than one!":



Guerilla chips would come in five different flavors of revolution: Columbian Ketchup, Bogatanian Barbeque, Saudi Salt and Pepper, Pakistani Dill Pickle, and Revolutionary Regular. I think that the back of the package would read something like this:

"You thought that you were going to the store for a simple bag of chips? Think again when you get pulled into the bushes with six, AK-47 armed, knives between their teeth, jungle warriors! These chips are bad enough to topple a govenrment and smuggle drugs into your country while you're comparing prices with the so called "leading brand". So what are you gunna do about it, chump? I'll tell you what you'll do - you sit your militant posterior on your couch and eat as many chips as you want because you're a part of an invisible war. Long live the revolution!"

Long live extreme marketing.

Renig:

So about that last blog... completely ignore it because we've talking it out and we're both fine.

The lesson has been learned and I apologize for pouncing on the situation.

But let it be known that rumors and gossip really don't make many people happy. So let's be smart and not piss off the guy with the literary uzi.

Coward.

So someone decided that it would be clever to fill out a "secret crush calculator" in my name on a friend's weblog. There were three names that were put into this prank machine and it was e-mailed to my friend's e-mail account. The three names were that of this friend, one of my best friends, and a married woman who I have never really hung out with!

I know that this is a childish prank. Ha ha. The laugh is over and so I retort:

Say it to my face, ask me straight up, or shut up. I don't know who you are, but you have some messed up ideas in your head. Seriously, what give you the right to make assumptions about things that I have never voiced?

But no, sit back in whatever chair you sit and muse.: "Let's see what kind of rumor that we can start because we're bored." (Proverbs 16:28 - "A perverse man stirs up dissension and a gossip seperates close friends."

Let me give you something to talk about: the undeniable fact that you are wrong on all three accounts. I need not explain myself on any account, but your perception is as good as a corpes'.

So the next time you try to strike up drama, remember this: Revelation 21:8

"But the COWARDLY, the unbelieving, the vile, the murderers, the sexually immoral, those who practice magic arts, the idolaters and all LIARS - their place is in the fiery lake of burning sulfer...."

P.S. Read Romans 1:28 -32.... and know that I'm really sorry that you forgot that...