The Oxymoron of The Heart:

Sometimes it burns with passion and love for life and others. Sometimes it freezes from the coldness of experience and slight or replacement. The heart will bleeds for the cause of those who have been denied justice, yet can be callous all at the same time. A heart can be poured out and the contents visible for the select to examine, but can also be as closed a safe, not letting anyone see what is hidden.

The heart reflects the seasons of one's life. Like the seasons, it seems as if the heart experiences the same type of cycling. When the winters are over, a summer comes to thaw it for a time, but then it experiences another winter.

As a blogger, I don't feel that I need to explain everything to you who are reading. As I would normally be open with what is going on in my life, it is my choice not to post anything about it. (which means if I leave out details, don't badger me for them, if I choose to tell you, that is my choice) Take what you read and learn. If you are in a summer... enjoy what you have while you do, maybe the winter might take that away, but there will be other summers. If you are in a winter... there will be a spring and summer, but there also will be other winters.

A Flowery Song Day:

By "A Flowery Song" I mean the Five Iron Frenzy song that uses the Doxology (Praise God from whom all blessings flow/ praise Him all creatures here below/ praise Him above ye heavenly hosts/ praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost) as the chorus. I can't help but marvel at the beauty that God created around us. Think about, honestly and deeply. How could something so precious as life and beautiful as dandelions be a series of random events? There isn't a chance.

The truth is this, there is a God out there. God who loves, cherishes, and values us so much that He created this gorgeous world for us to thrive in and see the beauty of His creation so that we may in turn give Him the praise. Though as humans, we are dumb and sinful, He still loves us and is saddened by the ways we reject Him. The coolest thing is that it doesn't stop there.

As said at the top of this blog, this chorus refers to a "Father, Son, and Holy Ghost". God (the Father) loved you and I so much that He sent (God) The Son to live among us, to face temptation and bare things which men bare, and to die as a way of restoration between us and God (the Father). Think about that. Now I don't have any friends my age that are dads yet, but think about it. Think about sending your son to a people who know about you and love you, yet they are so bound up by tradition that they reject your son and kill him. This is where many atheists and others have a problem with this belief... some people believe that Jesus lived and that he was "a good man", but good men die every day... no other "good man" has defeated the chains of death and partied with his friends 3 days after. C.S. Lewis said that in Jesus' claim to deity that he was either a liar, a lunatic, or Lord. I suggest to you , and firmly believe, that Jesus is God, The Son. So where is this "Holy Ghost" I talked about. Let me tell you.

After Jesus was all partying and stuff with his people, He was all like "Dude, I gotta prepare a place for your righteous rears to park was your done with my work on this earth. But check this, I'm gunna send to you (God) the Holy Spirit (Holy Ghost) to kick you in the booty when you need it and to give you the words to say when you're about to wet your pants." So Jesus' friends are all like, this is cool and so they wait in Jerusalem for this stuff to happen. So one day while they are gathered, they are all praying and stuff... and it happens. I can't explain to you what happened because A) I wasn't there, and B) nothing like this had ever happened before. But the disciples busted out and were all about preaching the gospel (gospel literally means "good news" of Jesus!

So my point for all of this writing is this: God is utterly amazing! He has done so much more than we can possibly fathom. As I look outside, I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of my God. I hope that when you look at me, you can see my Father.

The Good, The Bad, The Better, and the NOOO!:

As I have stated multiple times before, New Brunswick whether is the weirdest. First it rains, then it winds, then it snows, and then is Bermuda weather. Today, to the enjoyment of all (and the people rejoiced) it was GORGEOUS OUT! I'm not just talking a no coat day, I?m talking a full fledged, zip-off-to-shorts and a t-shirt day.

I woke up this morning to a not hot or relatively warm shower, which put me in a bad mood, but then I stepped outside. When it is quarter to 9 in the morning and it feels like noon every other day (by the warmth of the surroundings), you know that it is setting up to be awesome outside.

So there is the good.

The bad is that because of my lack-of-hot shower, I was incredibly tired. I sat through the first hour of ethics in "the zone", by the time Pastor Symonds got up in chapel to preach, I was out. Yeah, you're student body prez elect slept through chapel...

So there is the bad.

Today we got the long awaited Room Request forms! Yay! It has been time for those for a while. So there I was all checking my mail and I fill it right out and am like "Bickity Bam, there you go Mrs. Maxwell. It is TP for me." But then I got to thinking... what if Brent, Wiediez, and I rocked out one of the new townhouses they're planning? Wiedz is a professional chef, I know my way around the kitchen, and we all love to eat! The only problem with that is Brent isn't as tight with him as I am.... so it would make a weird living situation. Brent said I could do it without him.... but I can't ditch him.

The Better is this: my two hour afternoon block of classes was canceled so yours truly spent the day out in the sun and hanging out with many very cool people.

So, you've guessed the theme, now I must move on to the NOOO!

So I went to the mall today to pay my phone bill, which was yet another mistaken bill... there is no way I could have been charged $111.00 .... turned out only to 74.00ish. Anyway, so I happened to run into Liz before I left and she looked board and so we walked down to the mall. This is not a bad thing, mind you, so don't get all worried and junk. So we were talking and junk, and I realized that after this semester, I only have one more year of Lizness! NOOOOOO!!!

This makes me very sad. Liz is one of my very best friends here and not having her here will detract from the close people at BBC. I feel really weird knowing that this will be the last year I have with her physically present. As said before, that means no more Lizness. Granted, I will still keep in touch with her... but it's just weird. I know that I feel sad about it, but I dunno what else is attached to it.

Idiosyncratic routine:

You every notice the different idiosyncrasies that people have? It is wonderful to notice them, pick them out, and maybe make fun of them later. (I'm not really that mean, but I can be observant) For example, the "guitar face". Everyone who plays has one. Some have funnier ones than others. I could go off on different people and their funny guitar faces, but I won't.

I'm not trying to say that all idiosyncrasies are bad things, for I quite enjoy the quirks of some people. A group among these individuals are the "Affectionates". I don't mean to sound anything but honest right now, I enjoy it when people show affection to me. Granted, I don't get showered with a grand amount up here, but I do get enough from the right people. (Disclaimer: this does not include booty slaps, those are off limits. Not a fan) It is nice to know once in a while that even a person in the status of "single" can receive little bits of affection that make you think "Wow, the world isn't such a bad place after all".

There are, however, bad ones. for example, punching someone in the face when you use the word "and" in a sentence. Of course, I have never run into anyone with that particular idiosyncrasy, but I'm sure it's not happy. Being a librarian, I see the quirks that people have and the expectations they hold as patrons. The one that annoys me the most is the attitude that they are the most important person in your world and you should drop immediately everything you are doing and do what they tell you. Personal reaction...in the words of a Miss Elizabeth Stewart... "Not impressed".

Basically there is no point to this blog aside from my general observation.... and by the way I am the next Student body President of Bethany Bible College. Hail to the king, baby.

Ammendment:

Things are semi-sorted between the perpetrater.... but let this whole blog serve as a warning... don't shaft your friends... even if you're dating someone else.

Thought of the day (drawn from Ethics class): "Does the moral decision change if it is the third week of Ramadan and in the sixth month, a quadriplegic Swiss man on a pony draws the ace of spades from a penuckle deck while sitting on a three legged stool around the table with a group of midget Nazi Eskimo penguins eating birch saplings and a pumpkin that bares a shocking resemblance to Joseph Stalin?"


Shaft!

I'm not talking the 70's super agent with a harem of women, I'm talking the ultimate rejection by people who associate with you as friends. I hate this feeling. I wonder sometimes why I even make friends. Do you hate putting 5 or so years into a person's life to have them turn around and reject you on the basis of "I don't want my boyfriend/girlfriend hanging out with good friends of the opposite gender, so s/he expects the same out of me when it comes to guys'girls." If you vary the ending phrase, it happens all the time to me.

I am not sure whether I am more hurt, depressed, or angry. I can't tell right now. I do know that whatever the case, I'm definitely not feeling "good" about it. I can understand, in a way, the jealousy factor, but what I don't understand is that if you are so freaking paranoid about your relationship, why don't you guys just burn you bridges and stick to yourselves.

I value friendships because I have so few solid ones. I hate the shallowness that people can have. I hate being a convenience. I am saddened that things, memories, etc. can be thrown away so easily. I refuse to name names... because maybe if you're reading this, you're one of the many that's done/doing this to me. This incidence that causes me to vent is simply triggered by one out of the multitude of hurts that I've experienced because people fail to realize how much a friendship means.

Here is a tip: Keep your friends. If you can't be friends with people outside of a dating relationship you shouldn't be in one.

Here I am to Slow Dance:

Ladies and Gentlemen, today I bring you the ultimate in bad timing and hilarity. Today in Personal Evangelism class, Mike is showing us this video from a youth rally that the XD group held at the Sussex Middle School. During the time we were watching Mike fast forward from scene to scene, we caught a glimpse of the worship time, message, and dramas. Afterward, Mike is telling us the story of the rally and the trials of working with middle schoolers. What was said next caught me by surprise:

"At every middle school rally, we try to bring everything down in the worship time with a slow song. I noticed while we were playing the song 'Here I am to Worship' that out in the crowd there were kids worshiping and others were talking to their friends. But out in the middle, I noticed that in the chaos of a middle school rally, there was a guy and girl slow dancing!"

Slow dancing?! Who slow dances at a rally? More over... middle school kids slow dancing? I had all I could do to contain my laughter. I have this image of a middle school guy.... thinking to himself... "If only that I might play a slow song... that I might take that girl in my arms... and slow dance with her as if the night would never end!" and the girl thinking ... "he's gorgeous and I?m bored.... my boyfriend isn't here..... I hope he'll dance with me." And, oh sweet fate, they play they slow song and they are attracted like flies on crap.... they are brought together like spaghetti and meatballs... like pie and ice cream.... like lamb and tuna...

"So here I am to slow dance, here I am to sway around, here I am to dance with you for now...."