So I genuinely suck at keeping this thing up... but I went to Croatia with a few teens from the youth group. These are the stories of our travels...

...In Croatia

Friday, 7/22/05:
On to Croatia. I sit in anticipation of what could be another exciting adventure in my journey of faith with teens in tow and God guiding me. I am slightly concerned about flights because I am still experiencing the pressure in my ears from being sick. I am praying that this atmospheric does not rupture my ear drums. I kind of like them where they are.
The whole thing is a new experience. New country, new responsibilities, and I’m flying alone. I’ve never flown alone before before. There isn’t really anything for me to worry about, it’s just that the training wheels are off now and I am realizing the reality of what is going on today.
I have a long flight ahead of me, several connection, different nations, new faces and people in each new place that I visit. The world is so big, yet so small at the same time. I will meet people connected to people places that are familiar.
My prayer is that God totally takes hold of me during this trip. I can’t wait to see the things that He has in store for me to learn about myself, my teens, and my place in His service. What answers to questions I have, I truly pray that He will answer and He will give me the grace to hear Him truthfully.
So long North America. I leave your shores for a greater purpose than myself. I will return to you, finish my internship, and wait for direction from God. This is not the first time I’ve left our modern arrogance and materialism and it certainly will not be my last.
Saturday, 7/23/05:
“Nisi Normalan” - Croatian for “not normal.”
We are not normal. We have come thousands of miles and from different nations to make a difference in one part of the world for such a short amount of time. Russians, Croatians, missionaries from Bosnia, missionaries from Austria, Jamaicans from Great Britain, and Americans converged in Split, Croatia for the purpose of Christ. That is not the norm of our societies. Ancient prides and self-centeredness of our normality keep us from helping others.
It is not normal for me to feel the way that I feel about doing this type of thing. It isn’t normal for me to enjoy smuggling simple comforts and reminders of home into the missionaries. I am so glad that I am not normal. Life wouldn’t be as interesting.
Christ compels me to press on through the jet lag and illness to let His light through me shine. Yes, He wants me to rest and adjust to the new climate and culture, but He desires us to work together in unity and rely on His strength, not our own.
I got to connect with Josh Carter and Nate Weaver today! It is so good to see them and share stories. I was able to give Josh, Nate, and Sher the items that people had sent to me for them and also the items that I picked out myself. It was so awesome to see their response to something simple as a jar of peanut butter.
Josh, Nate, and I talked a lot about the differences in the Croatian and Bosnian cultures that had really puzzled and upset them. One of the major issues was that the cultures are overt with their sexuality. Apparently, many of the billboards are pornographic, fostering a false need for women to make themselves as attractive as possible. I pray for our purity while we are here. Truth be told, they need prayer coverage every day for it because they have to live around that trash.
Sunday 7/24/05:
Church.... oh, church. Never before have I been so blessed! In Russian, Croatian, Austrian, English, and so on we worshipped the Risen Savior. I can’t describe the sound of that many tongues praising God.
In Charles Wesley’s hymn, he wished that he had one thousand languages to praise Jesus with. I feel the same way. I wish that I had a thousand different expressions of the tongue for such a purpose.
I was so amazing blessed this morning during the service. I sat with Josh and shared with him Revelation 7:9 - 17. It talks about how before the throne of God that people from every tongue, nation, tribe, and people that there would be representation. Today I experienced a very slight fraction of that. How amazing heaven will be.
Monday, 7/25/05:
I still can’t believe that I am in Croatia right now. The country is so beautiful and we are surrounded by the most incredible sights. Right outside of my window are picturesque mountains and the glistening Adriatic Sea. Down the street is ancient architecture that has stood the test of time.
This morning we got our ministry assignments. My girls from Indiana are going to be teaching english to children and teens. I am going to be teaching intensive conversational english to adults along with Brenda - a missionary to Austria, Lana - our translator and a Texan who is half Croatian, and Marina - a Russian student. This class will involve grammar games, watching movie clips, and reading short stories.
I have never done anything like this before, but I’m incredibly excited and nervous about it. New experiences are good and I have to allow myself to be stretched by God, not just say that I want it to happen.
We are going to be working out of the World Hope International office in Split. Jen and Hrvoje gave us a tour of the office and an explanation of what we would be doing and gave us the curriculum for the class. This is an amazing opportunity for me to meet new people and create relationships with the community, rather than just putting on a show.
Tonight’s rally was a concert of prayer for the nations. It was amazing to see different nationalities lifting each other up in prayer. Neighboring countries prayed for each other. Missionaries to these countries lifted up requests. The body of believes were together in unity.
The Russian team led us into worship tonight for the second time since we’ve been here. I think it is so awesome that God has raised up so many leaders and godly people from so many different countries. North America is not the extend or the fullness of the church, we are but a small part of the whole. I am so glad for the diversity of believers.
Night life in Croatia is so crazy. We have not ventured out into the streets at night time yet, but we can hear the techno clubs and coffee bars blasting their music, people yelling, and drunken songs. I don’t know whether these were just clubs or parties, but I do know that they were loud. Maybe I’ll check it out one night just to see what is going on. I am almost afraid of what I may find.
Tuesday 7/26:
God is so freaking amazing! What a day! The day was a huge stretch of teach english as a second language at the World Hope International Headquarters. I have never done it before and thought it flopped, but Lana, our translator for the elementary english class, said that I did well and that the class appreciated the questions that I asked.
After that I was able to shoot out a couple of e-mails and let people know that I am indeed alive. It was nicer than I could have imagined to be able to hear from people and send messages. Maybe hearing from family and friends is a small comfort that I have missed.
The best part of the day was this evening. I have been so amazingly blessed to be a part of the international worship band. People from Croatia, Russia, Great Britain, and America made up this team of people from around the world. At the end of the service, we busted into spontaneous worship and just lingered in His presence for hours.
Revelation 7:9 says: “After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people, and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb.”
What has been happening here is exactly that. What I have seen this week is a glimpse of the future. I saw a small fraction of the Throne room of God. All honor, glory, and praise be to the Lamb who is seated on the throne! May His name be praised!
Wednesday 7/27/05:
What a day! I had so much fun teaching english and getting to know my students better. They were a little more comfortable with me as well today. I suppose that I did loosen up a lot for the previous day!
I taught the reading section again today. We read two stories that were short, but contained a lot of adjectives. Because we had a lot of time left after we read the stories through and had them translate it into Croatian, we played a little game using adjectives to describe ourselves. I started it out with an example: “I am crazy!” Everyone laughed and much levity filled the room from hat point on.
We went into the market place today and I saw probably more that I wanted to see. On one side of the street there was a large store that boldly said “Sex Shop” on the outside. I did not see anything (or go looking for that matter!), but was still disturbed by the words, so blatantly written, on the sign.
The best part of the day, hands down, was the evening service. As we stood on the platform practicing, I started to feel like I had achieved some type of status. Immediately following that, I was reminded of a dream that I had while I was in Israel. This was the same place as in that dream! I asked God to remove the pride with which I had initially approached the evening with. He did. He freed me to worship Him with all my being... so passionate that I broke two guitar strings while playing!
Six of my students came this evening as well as an older gentleman who was attending one of the advanced english classes. He had been humming the tune of “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and asked if I could get him the lyrics. I told him that if he came to the evening service, I would have the lyrics. I kept my word and he came.
I don’t know what God did in the lives of my students tonight, but I know that at least two of them made a decision for Christ! One of them had her two daughters with her and they too went forward! Praise God for His work, not mine!
Tuesday 7/28/05:
God taught me an amazing lesson in humility today. I was supposed to play with the international worship band again, but He had a different plan for the evening. I was excited about playing and a little upset that I couldn’t.
The amp that I had used to play along with them for the past two day has decided to explode. Well, it didn’t literally explode, it just decided that functionality was not within the spectrum of things that it wanted to do that day. I couldn’t exactly play because I no amp and no way of plugging into the system.
My initial reaction was dismay. I had such an amazing time playing with them last night. I also felt a little put out because I had been faithful to attend all practices and punctual, yet I was the one to get cut. I had to remind myself that it is not all about me!
Rather than secretly wishing for their failure (which I honestly had to catch myself from getting super critical), I sat back and prayed for God to do His work and asked that I would not be a hindrance to it.
This was a critical evening in the lives of many people and there was no room for egos or personal agendas. I left the evening in God’s hands (not that it had been in mine to begin with) and He did His thing.
We have almost completed our first week in Croatia. Some things and people I miss, but I have been really comfortable here - aside from the heat... I do miss the beauty of central air conditioning! Who knows if I’ll be back here again. If I did come back, I don’t think I’d complain!
(Ironically, considering my lesson on pride today, I learned from my students that my name is very Croatian in nature. The pronunciation of my last name is actually a Dalmatian word that means “really, really good.” Some how, I don’t think that introducing myself as Damien the Awesome would help me in that area!)
Friday, 7/30/05:
Today was another phenomenal day. First off, it was our free day, so I got to sleep in a little bit. I did not sleep too late because I was taking Jennafer (one of my teens, and yes, her name is spelled that way) snorkeling with a group of people.
It is so amazing to see God’s creations that exist below the surface. I saw schools of fish, sea anemones, sea urchins, and so much more! We went to a private beach, so there wasn’t a whole lot of unnecessary sightings of flesh, but enough to keep me on my guard.
After snorkeling, we got the other two girls and had what I can only describe as the best pizza that I have ever had in my life! We spent a few hours just talking and sharing about the events of the trip so far.
Later this evening, we participated in Split, Croatia’s celebration of 1700 years of existence. This was originally described to us as a city wide toga party - not an “Animal House” style toga party, but a cultural event. As our group dawned our togas and walked through the city, we realized that few others were wearing togas! Was this some crazy joke that Euro Adventure was playing on us? We saw a few people dressed up, but not many.
As we approached Diocletian’s palace (the same Diocletian who was the worst to persecutor of Christians), we fond a gathering of people in togas. The mayor of the city announced that all toga wearers were invited to a feast in the basement of the palace! It was incredible! Fruits, meats, bread, and wine. We, being good Wesleyans, steered clear of the wine.
This reminded me of the parable of that talked about the wedding feast in Matthew 22:1 - 14. People were told about the wedding feast - many were invited, but they ignored the invitation. Christ has invited all people to His wedding celebration, but sadly, not everyone is prepared to attend.
People are not ready for the return of Jesus, but He will come anyway. I hope that with the light of Christ in me that I can help a few become ready for that day. The table has been set, the invitations have been sent out, and the bridegroom waits for His Father’s permission to return for the bride.
We finished the night out with ice cream. This seemed to become out nightly ritual. We had along with us Mindy - a missionary to Bosnia who is working with Josh and Nate, Rachel - a girl working in Croatia with Chris and Wendy England, and Misha - a Russian student who has been hanging around a bit too much for my liking with Jennafer (leader prerogative).
Saturday 7/30/05:
I didn’t sleep last night. The crazy night noise of Croatia kept me awake until 4:00 - 4:30 AM. I had to be awake at 7 AM this morning to do ministry. This was not exactly a perfect start to the day.
Today’s time in ministry was awesome despite my exhaustion. I was incredibly tired, but Hrvoje, a Croatian worker with World Hope, gave a Gospel message during our last class period. Each of the teachers were sitting in different corners of the room praying that God would totally pour out the Holy Spirit on him as he shared. He did! Hrvoje gave this amazing message with the “Bridge of Life” illustration while answering all sorts of questions about Jesus and the message Lois Martinez delivered the nights before.
The came the clincher that would turn my day from incredible to worse. I got an e-mail from home that was incredibly vague, but said enough to make me worry. I haven’t dealt with such worry since last September when God had freed me from it. I felt like I was under spiritual attack. Satan would use anything, even things which God intended for good, to try to get at me. I asked several people to lift me up in prayer so that I did not worry.
After spending time in worship, I took a short nap and concluded that I really need to trust God with this matter rather than just saying that I am or that I want to trust Him with it. He gives and takes away. I don’t know if this is a season in my life of Him taking something away from me. I know that if it it, it will be ridiculously hard, but I’ll have to trust Him.
Tonight was our first international coffee house and it was amazing! I got to play a twenty minute set. It was pretty much like I had my own concert that I was playing! In a way, I’ve kind of dreamed of that. It was really good and people liked what I shared.
Sunday 7/31/05:
Another night of terrible sleep, but it was much better sleep that the night before. I was able to sleep in a little bit today, so it helped me out a bit. What did not help my cause is that I was super emotional today.
The church service today was good, but I felt the weight of the issues of the previous day heavily on my heart and overwhelming me. Mylika gave a testimony today about stuff that he had going on at home, but learning to trust God in the uncertainty. I felt convicted that my situation wasn’t as drastic as his, yet he totally trusted God with it. During that prayer time, I stood along with others to ask for God’s strength. I know that I can’t do this alone. I was never meant to.
Trent preached a message this morning on Jonah and how God’s unrelenting love and unconditional forgiveness were bad news for him. For self-righteous people who think they deserve forgiveness or have achieved some status in the eyes of God to buy their salvation, God’s love for people is frustrating.
I realized today just how much I was like Jonah to my grandmother. For years, I have secretly resented her for smoking and getting drunk in front of her grand children. I hated her for it. I honestly didn’t care what happened to her. At times, I thought heaven was too good for her. I didn’t want to see her there.
What a hypocrite I am. Have I forgotten my own past? Have I forgotten everything that God has redeemed me from? I was a wretched worn deserving of hell until I fell on His mercy, not anything that I did.
Today, I forgave her of the pain she caused me. I released her to God and now more than ever, I want her to be there in heaven with me, not suffering an eternity separated from God. I pray for the boldness to share with her.
My afternoon was very tough. It is so hard for me to trust God in some situations. I really want to, but it’s so tough when you can’t see what He is doing. Part of me hates being so far from home at this point. I know that with these issues that a conversation could bring about the solution.
I had to write a very difficult, confrontational e-mail this afternoon. It was blunt and honest, but I hope that it communicates the love and concern that I have for this friend. I send it off with a prayer for the solution to come about.
It was hard to admit to my kids this afternoon that I was not doing well. I’ve always thought that as the leader, I was supposed to be the stable one and have everything all figured out. I couldn’t put up a show though. They reminded me that I need to trust in God.
Monday 8/1/05:
“Do you dare trust Me completely?” This question and lyric from Laura Mitchell’s song Child in Need is God’s question of the day for me. My answer today is yes. I have no idea what God is doing or has done, but I know that the best hands for things to be in are His!
Today started rough again. Sleep evaded me again last night despite my early arrival to the room. I awoke not feeling well from the lack of sleep. I ate breakfast anyway and drug myself downtown to the World Hope office.
The combination of heat, exhaustion, and an uneasy stomach did not make for the greatest combination this morning. I left the office early and came back to the room to sleep. That was probably the best thing for me to do at that moment. Before I left the office, David Babcock prayed for me and encouraged me to get some rest and also find rest in Him.
I spent an amazing time with Jesus that eased my worries. He is so unbelievably good to me. His faithfulness, His hesed (Hebrew word for love, faithfulness, kindness, goodness, loving-kindness, etc.), is greater than anything that the evil one will throw at me.
I have taken up my armor and I stand firm in Christ: my Shield, my Portion, Deliverer, Prince of Peace, Mighty God. Who can stand against He who spoke the world into existence? Who is like our God? There is not His equal in all the world. I will trust Him because He will not break my trust. I will stand against the sickness, worry, and despair the evil one throws at me because it is on Christ that I stand tall. The fight is in my favor! If Jesus is for me, who can be against me?
Tuesday 8/2/05:
What an amazing day! I began my day reviewing the passages that I read over yesterday for peace and comfort. Again, God gave me a sense of peace that everything was or would be all right.
After teaching english, God truly honored me for trusting in Him and seeking to glorify Him in the situation that had me concerned. It really felt like God said, “See, all along I was here. I was in control even when you had no control over this situation. Son, you did well to come to me with your concerns.”
Everything was ok! Anything that caused my concern was the product of miscommunication and misunderstanding! I knew that things didn’t add up, but I forgot how twisted the evil one is! He so freaking’ blew smoke in here to confuse things and try to ruin the ministry that God has me doing here and the stuff that He is doing at home. Yet the peace of God which transcends all understanding guided our hearts and minds.
Though we were attacked, Christ prevailed. The standard flies high over my fortress declaring Christ as the victor. This battle was not of flesh and blood, but against the powers of darkness. I dawned my armor and stood. Because I stood, I was not alone. The Champion of the Battle stood at my side! Christ drew His sword, gave a battle cry, and I was redeemed. How great is our God! And that was only one of two awesome things to happen today!
We had a service tonight which challenged me. Dennis Wright gave an incredible message on using our gifts and passions that God has given us. Over the years, God has given me a passion for missions that has scared me a little bit. There are so many unknowns, but everything that God has done in my life and teaching me to trust Him, I made a public stand and asked God to fan the flames of that passion. I don’t know where God will take me, but I am willing to be used.
Later on, we said good-bye to our Russian brothers and sisters. I didn’t get to connect with them too well, but I did get to know Misha and Marina a little bit. It sucks to say good-bye, but it is awesome to know that I have brothers and sisters in Vladmir, Russia who are so in love with Jesus.
When we got back, I had an amazing talk with the girls. We shared stories and things that we have learned about each other. It has been an amazing time getting to know Becky, Heidi, and Jennafer a lot better. They’re awesome kids and I am so proud of them.
Friday 8/5/05:
Yesterday was too hectic to write. With packing, travel, etc. yesterday was so crazy, but amazing... aside from the good-byes. It was really tough to leave people who I have spent the past two weeks doing ministry along side of.
I had an awesome time in prayer with Josh and Nate! I am so encouraged by their work in Bosnia! Josh wanted us to pray together before we left and so we did. It was so great to be able to be a small part of their mission for such a short time. God is truly good and will continue to use them both in incredible ways in Bosnia.
Then there was Frankfurt, Germany. Again, I marvel at another part of world. It was an incredible mix of the old and new. We (Jenn Swift, Kate, Maria, and Jeff - a group from IL) met up with Kate’s aunt Simone. Simone is a resident of Frankfurt.
She walked us around the city and brought us to an authentic German restaurant for supper. This may sound funny, but amongst the Thai, Chinese, and Italian restaurants - it was difficult to find REAL German food in Frankfurt. This is where a difficult situation present itself.
Apple wine is a native drink of Frankfurt. We had told Simone that we wanted an authentic German experience and she was going to give it to us. She urged us to experience the fullness of the culture. Half of the group did. I stuck with my Fanta, but there was a temptation there.
I have never felt a temptation to alcohol before. Why did it happen here and now? Was it because social drinking is such a part of that culture? Was it because the enemy did not ensnare me with me with lust or worry or pride in Croatia that he had to throw this crap at me?
As soon as I was offered a taste, I felt the immediate conviction of the Holy Spirit. I declined her offer. Praise God for His strength. Had I tried it, all of my credibility on that matter would have been lost. Too many of my family and friends have been hurt by alcohol, why would I even thing of propitiating that further?
Jeff and I talked in our room later and he apologized if I had been throw off guard or offended by what happened tonight. I shared my reasons for declining even the taste. It truly would have been a sin for me to ignore a clear no from the Holy Spirit. Aside from that, I made a commitment years ago not to drink. This is the first time that commitment was ever tested. Praise God for keeping me strong.