"At least it's not....:"

(walking over to the RD's house for keys)

Damien: At least it's not cold out.

Matt: Yeah, that could be bad.

(arrive at the house)

RD's son: I'm pretty sure it's one of these two key, hope they work.

(fumbling with keys across campus in the dorm storage door in minus 15c weather)

Damien: I wish that this key... one of these keys would work...

Matt: Yeah, it's a good thing they gave us the right keys... that could be a bad situation if not.

Damien: Mmm... what would suck even worse is if they weren't even sure if this these keeps worked.

Matt: That could be bad.... at least it's not minus 15 out.

Damien: That would suck.

Matt: Let me try... I wonder if this one will work... they're all engraved with the initials of the buildings, but you never know.

(strong wind blows)

Damien: At least it isn't cold and wind... and at least we're not in Canada during February. That could be bad.

(Walk back, defeated to return the keys)

Matt: You know what could be worse? Being wet.... or naked.

Damien: I think being naked would almost work more in your favor. See, with being wet, your clothes would freeze, it turn causing you to catch hypothemia sooner.

Matt: Yeah, but the heat of your body would melt the water....

Damien: Not for long... then too being naked outside in a day like this could be bad... unless you were on fire.

Matt: On fire? I don't see that boading well.

Damien: No, it's brilliant, but you'd have to be in an igloo. Hold that thought.

(Knock on RD's door, exchange for the real keys, proceed to storage)

Matt: Naked, on fire... and in an igloo.

Damien: Check. See here is the thing, you wouldn't have to completely combust, just a small portion, the tiny flame in the igloo would wet the snow/ice enough to keep you cool from your incendiary extremity, yet the reflection of the insolated surface, keeping your warm... even though you're naked.

Matt: I'm pretty sure I see what you're getting at, but would you have to be on fire for it to work? What about having a candle?

Damien: Hmm. You don't say. That's too logical, but I could see that working too... kind of takes the excitement out of it, but it is a viable option.

(Enter storage only to not find what I was looking for...)

Matt: At least we didn't do all of that for nothing, because THAT could be bad.

Damien: You know what could be worse? It being cold outside.

Matt: At least it's not cold out.