Sunday, March 14, 2004

Uncomforted Infirmity:

Do to the nature of my condition of wellness, I am using whatever energy I end up expending on discernment is used to keep me from going comatose

This morning seemed just like any Sunday morning. I got up, went through my daily routine in preparation for church. What ended up being different this fine Sabbath was the condition of my digestive track. I was praising God with my other noise making orifice. I think the song was “I’ve got a river of life flowing out of me.” I decided the try going to church any way. Wrong answer. I made it through about an hour before my stomach hurt to the point of needing to leave.

Oh man, am I glad I did. I think I’ve been sleeping, drinking, and expelling liquid all day. I made an attempt to get some help from the wonderful hospital... I spent 2 hours sitting, pooping and spewing in a government funded toilet to learn nothing more than my mother had told me on the phone 2 hours prior: stay hydrated.

Have I ever mentioned my dislike for that hospital? I really don’t think that they know what they’re doing in there. Much like Orkish Pain Boyz (if you ever played Warhammer 40k, you know that the Pain Boyz are the Ork’s medics), I would be afraid to bring a real concern to them. I’d be afraid that they’d remove my left leg if I had mild cold symptoms.