Brazen Junk Food:

So last night I went on a late night snack run to the Superstore and in the process of comparison shopping, I discovered both a bargain and a challange. I didn't know that chips could have bad attitudes, but these apparent Dorito knock-offs did! Heck, they were 99 cents, of course I'm gunna stick it to the man and buy the cheaper chips.

Rather than appealing to my desire for flavorful chips, these antidisestablishmenterianistic chips challanged me to think twice before fueling the corperate machine. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Rebellos - the latino gangster of the cheesy tortilla family.

I kid you not, this is the message on the back of the bag... I want you to imagine Pedro's cousins from Napoleon Dynamite getting in your face to say this:

"We could go on and on and on about how crunchy, chessy, and tasty the tortilla chips are, but we won't. Hey, you're a rebel. Go for it... we dare you!"

I think their marketing manager forgot some key element: Where I bought these chips. Sussex is far away from any hispanic community or anything near gang related. There is no punk rock scene here - kids are into metal bands like Iron Maiden and Megadeath. Geographically speaking, let me show you what I think a powerpoint slide from that marketing meeting looked like:



It makes me wonder about what will be next... With the way that extreme marketing is going, I give you the future of junk food!

Ladies and Gentlemen: I give you Guerilla Chips - "You'd better be eating more than one!":



Guerilla chips would come in five different flavors of revolution: Columbian Ketchup, Bogatanian Barbeque, Saudi Salt and Pepper, Pakistani Dill Pickle, and Revolutionary Regular. I think that the back of the package would read something like this:

"You thought that you were going to the store for a simple bag of chips? Think again when you get pulled into the bushes with six, AK-47 armed, knives between their teeth, jungle warriors! These chips are bad enough to topple a govenrment and smuggle drugs into your country while you're comparing prices with the so called "leading brand". So what are you gunna do about it, chump? I'll tell you what you'll do - you sit your militant posterior on your couch and eat as many chips as you want because you're a part of an invisible war. Long live the revolution!"

Long live extreme marketing.