Selling Jesus:

Maybe you know, maybe you haven’t a clue, maybe you’ve rocked yourself into a corner over the knowledge of this, but I have a very weird and occasional off-color imagination. You must understand this to understand the following blog.

I was sitting in my room after supper (a detail which seems superfluous, but it is the root of where my train of thought left the station) listening to the New Testament on MP3 (my church did this awesome thing yesterday where they gave out MP3 CDs from “Faith Comes By Hearing”). As I’m listening to it being read to me, I realize that there is some very atmospheric music as well as differing in voice acting.

I am always intrigued by how people depict Jesus. It seems like everyone wants to see him a different way. If you don’t believe me, watch Talladega Night: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. All I can say about that is: “I like to picture my Jesus as havin’ really long, blonde, stringy hair and, like, singing lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd... being backed up by an all angel band...”

In our interpretation of Christ, I wonder how often we miss the main points of His character as well as what it would sound like if Jesus were to be advertised on TV. Here are a few samples of where my :

Fall Prime-time Drama Jesus:
“Coming this fall: He was your average Galilean until one day, fate smiled down from Heaven... literally! (queue scene of John the Baptist baptizing Jesus and dove descending) *voice from heaven* ‘What’s up guys... this is my kid. Boy, does He make me proud - Go get’em, tiger!’ (enter scenes of random disciples) Joined by a kooky band of social misfits, you’ll watch as Jesus proves that He’s got what it takes to be not only The Man, but The Son of Man! Thursday nights at 7!”

Political Commercial Jesus:
“Only one person can claim both humanity and divinity, yet His opponent would claim He’s inconsistent because He’s known by so many different names. Sure, He goes by Emmanuel, The Prince of Peace, The Son of God... but you can call Him Jesus. This message has been approved by The Second Member of the Trinity.”

The Jesus Meal:
“Tired of not having enough food to feed your family? Well, that won’t be a problem with the 5 Loaves and 2 Fish meal from Long John Silvers! You won’t need to worry about that when you simply ask - with leftovers for later! Long John Silvers: YarrrrghWYH... Jesus.”