Indescribable:

Last night was one of the hardest nights of my life. Goodbyes are never fun, nor easy, yet this one was different from any other goodbye I have had to say in my life.

I've felt sadness, I've even experience loss, I've felt the weight of depression, but never have I felt like part of my very soul was missing - ripped out, not out of malice nor termination, but out of seer obligation - she had to leave.... We had already prolonged the goodbye.

"It's ok," she said "I'll be back."

Her words described the peace which I too felt inside, but the fact remained that good bye was inevitable.

I watched her drive off, red lights trailed and I wanted to as well. My autonomous shell moved one foot in front of the other, up flights of stairs and to the apartment where I would begin to attempt words once again.

Fumbling keys, I staggered through the door and found both a true, understanding friend and words.

I collapsed upon the futon with no words at that moment... only tears.

"S....she's gone..." I muttered.... I couldn't think of anything else to say...

I sat, feeling like part of me was gone - there is no way to describe it... even now, I have no words, my body ached - not wantonly - but like something was missing from me.

Could years of this fortified, stony heart have been pierced and dissolved by a pair of beautiful blue eyes, filled with so much feeling? What could this be it....?