Don't Bother Trying to Explain, Angel, I Know Exactly What Goes on:
A blast from the past that I did not invite, nor did I ask for.
I know your mind games, but I've torched the board we used to play with. I am not the same man that you manipulated once. I'm stronger, wiser, and frankly, I won't take your crap any more.
Who are you to waltz back into my life after destroying it years ago as if nothing ever happened. I have forgiven, but I am left at a quandary of why all of a sudden, after years silence you return to haunt me.
No, I don't hate you and I don't want to fight you, but you tortured my soul at one time. I am finding the balance of forgiveness and moving on and away. I don't like disharmony, but for the greater good, I wonder if dysfunction is better than function.
You're married. Leave me alone and run your own life. I will not be held responsible for ruining yours as you were mine.
For my regular readers, I apologize for this - I will explain.
Years ago, I dated a girl who was my best friend for 7 years and who I really shouldn't have. She cheated on me with a dude that we worked with and for some odd reason, up and 4 years later - she IMs me. What the crap. I was quiet cordial and really sorry to hear the miserable mess she's in, but frankly, I am not biting.
How do I treat a situation? Do I have forgiveness issues that I still need to work out? I wasn't filled with hatred when I talked to her, nor do I wish ill of her, but I just really don't want to talk to her... I have nothing to say and I will not sit and reminisce about a past which I've healed from and forgotten.
2 Comments:
Uh... Dude, on the other hand, you don't want to get too close to a married woman. I think the Jew might have missed that part. If she's struggling, her ex is not the right person to go crying to.
As I wrote this post, I knew that I'd get response like that.
What Whitey said is exactly where I'm coming from. She's a married woman and from understand how she used to operate, it wouldn't be too far of a stretch for her to use any continued conversation as a grounds to up and leave her husband. I will not be talking to her because I do not want to be held responsible for that. It's a boundary that I've put up.
In all honesty, I am sad that her life is going the way it is and I have no wishes or desires to be a part of it. My reaction was harsh and I don't know if I can justify it... maybe that's just me sucking at being like Jesus again.
Maybe this is unhealthy, but I've learned that when a relationship (friendship or otherwise) becomes seriously negative, the best thing for me to do is gracefully bow out. Does that mean I'm going to abandon friends when they are struggling? No. But in the situation at hand, "friend" is hardly a word that could be used to describe this lack of relationship.
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