Score Four and Seven Blogs ago:

Again - I have been writing - just needed to post - here you go all!

Homer’s Greek Mythology and Lawn Care: (Monday, May 10th):

So, it’s Monday and I should be working today... aside from one very important factor: the lawn needed to be mowed. I don’t know if you have heard me banter about mowing the lawn while I’m at home, but I figured I’d take it from a different twist today.

First off, our riding mower if the same mower that God passed down to Adam to tend the Garden of Eden before the Fall. This thing is old... it still does work though... or at least did. In order to have this glorious piece of mechanized, motorized sheers to work, it must visit the only artisans holy enough, or capable to deal with such an archaic rider.

I was able to borrow the neighbor’s machine to cut the majority, but when it comes to the trimming... though our riding mower may have its roots in Mesopotamia, our push mower finds its history or lure in Greek mythology.

When Homer wrote the Odyssey, he wrote the original story with Odysseus leaving behind not his bow, but his push mower. You see, Penelope tested the young suitors after her by testing their ability to start the Mower of Odysseus. After all, while being tossed from wave to island by the gods, the grass in Greece didn’t wait around for the master of the house to return.

To bring this back to reality, I think that our push mower is this same mower, forged with mithril steel from the hills of Scandinavia and master crafted by the war smiths of Greece. And I think I am the only one able to start this thing.

Tank!: (May 11)

I am very thankful for my van. Sheila has served me well...nice, big, tank lady.... is made from the toughest stuff! I got rear-ended the other day on the way home from work in the middle of a rain storm. When I got out to look at the “damage” and there was none - though the other vehicle was a Mybotzu Monstrousity SUV, Sheila warded off any damage with a nice big bumper... big tank lady, I love you.

Creepy High School Girls: (May 12)

Where is a girlfriend when I need one the most? Some younger girls really scare me. Especially when they’re like 12 or 13 and sneak up behind you and throw their arms around you. I almost backhanded a kid last night that did that. It scared the ever living crap out of me!

It is this same kid that has freaked me out every time I come home. I really don’t know what to think some times with this clingy middleschoolers. I really wish that I could get some restraining order and stamp it with a Hallmark seal to say “I care in the ‘I gotta love you cuz Jesus says to’ kind of way... but stay away from me!”

I wish that there was something that I could do to avoid this kid. She really creeps me out. Part of the problem is this: she’s a really odd child. Eccentric doesn’t really begin to describe her mental state. This is truly a test of being able to love the unlovable in Jesus’ name. Is there some “consern at the end of a ten foot pole”.

As stated before - where is a girlfriend when I need one? Is it wrong to pretend that I have one and drop a name or hit that I’m not available? What is the right path to take on this one... if any of you have a clue as to what I should do - e-mail me....please.

What’s in a Name....part 2: (May 13)

Do any of you remember last year when I wrote about some “funny” names that I’ve found while filing stuff? I found a folder today that had a name on the folder, but 3 other names printed on the films and the reports! It was ridiculous!

I had to bring the files up to the front office to sort out the problem with this folder. I think it took them about 15 minute to figure out where it came from and what it was all about. Funny crap... 3 names...it was swapable, too. Some first names were used with other last names and vica versa. Anyway - back to work.