“Feelings....
Inside my head...
I dunno, but I’m thinking about you” - Relient K

Argh.... today is shaping into one of those days. I was rudely awakened at about 1:30 - 2 AM ish by some friends thinking that we prank called them. I hate it when people think you’re lying when you specifically state that you aren’t. Anywho, I wouldn’t have minded the call so much if A) there was actually something going on, B) I were actually real close to these people, or C) some earth shattering, life-shaking event just happened and they needed a shoulder. You see, I’ve got this policy with my close friends that is kind of unstated, but it’s there.

Here is Damien’s Policy on Friends in Crisis:

“If something is going wrong or something is terribly upsetting you, call me. Even if it’s at 3:00 in the morning, I would rather have you come to me and interrupt my sleep than have you go through something alone and spend a whole night upset.”

With that being said, I will continue to complain. Wednesdays really suck for me. By suck I don’t mean that it’s a bad day, it’s just that today is a busy day. I wake up (or try) at 9:15, go through my daily routine of grooming and go to class. After class, I run down our arctic hill to work for an hour in the library. Then I attempt to grab a bit of lunch as I run over to the BBC Ritz (TP dorm) from D-groups. Immediately after, I have two hours of classes and an hour and a half in of library work. This day ends with the grand finale of youth group. I think in the span of the day I have a grand total of 20 minutes of actual down time. The saddest thing about this is that I can’t rearrange anything in my day to make it less busy. Peachy.

A note of Prologue:

Ok, so the prologue begins. Unfortunately, it’s not being the way I hoped. My denial is over. However, I need to sort out myself before I decide to do anything. I always have a problem with worrying about “what if”s and the “what if not”s and the fake jealousy that “she’s” not noticing me. ARGH! I hate this wrong thinking. For some reason, I’m feeling it a little more today and I hate it. I know that these feelings and wrong thinkings are not of God, so I need to sort it out. There have been so many times I’ve just wanted to tell her how I feel, but I know that I am only being held back by myself and also my need to seek God’s wisdom.

(A side note: It is terribly ironic how God speaks to you sometimes.... I dunno if its just irony of what, but I figured what better place to find wisdom than the Proverbs....guess what verse happened to be in the section I was reading? "A man who finds a wife finds blessings from God." I can't say that I've found a wife, but I've certainly found my "system requirements" have all been double-checked and appear in "the left-fielder".)